|
This site
is about one Transsexual's journey into womanhood. It contains
no pornography
or inappropriate
photography, but rather my thoughts and feelings as I have made this
journey.
Please feel free
to wonder through the pages of my web, and leave me a comment if you
like
|
November 15th, 2009...
As women, we look upon
our breasts as part of the definition of our gender, but there are
many other pieces to this puzzle.
For a woman born into
the female body, there are the memories of growing up Sugar and spice,
And everything nice, because That's what little girls are made of.
Growing into puberty
and experiencing all of the wondrous (and not so wondrous) changes of
womanhood, and turning into the women that everyone always took for
granted they would grow to be.
But for the women that
were only born with a female brain, and the deep knowledge that
nothing in their world was right, our Breasts are one of the
most visual indicators of who and what we are.
I know of many
situations where when faced with breast cancer, Women feel that the
possibility of losing their breasts due to mastectomy often leaves
them feeling like less of a woman.
But to a Transsexual
woman (and I really can speak only for myself) the same situation not
only faces the same possibility of being less of a woman, but casts
doubts of womanhood entirely.
Does Fate try to undo
the decisions we made to transition?
Is this God's way of
saying not to mess with His work?, or is this just another step in the
path to life's end?
I am having a hard
time reconciling that these tribulations, when stacked end to end are
what God feels we can handle.
I have triumphed over
some major events in my life. I have beaten serious illness, and I
have survived broken relationships, and financial ruin.
I have not come
through these things unscathed.
I have learned some
very valuable lessons, and I have lost the ability to feel.
My heart feels cold,
even to me. My friendships have been damaged beyond repair, and I
struggle to find anything to care about.
I exist because I am
expected to. not because I want to.
I'm not saying that I
don't want to live, but that I feel that I don't have a reason to. |
|
A few words
of caution
In today's world of convenience, the World Wide Web has made access to
everything a simple mouse click away. Thousands of transgender men and women
now have access to all of the information they need to diagnose, prescribe,
purchase and medicate themselves without leaving their keyboard.
Internet pharmacies are raking in millions of
dollars selling sub-standard and often dangerous drugs to anyone with a
credit card or bank account. No prescription required!!!
Transitioning from one gender to the other is a
process that requires close monitoring by qualified medical personnel. The
US and most other nations have procedures in place for these situations for
a reason. Granted they are not perfect, but they are there for the safety
and well being of those of us that have been professionally diagnosed with
Gender Identity Dysphoria, and are available to those who believe they may
be.
I would assume that none of you would perform
your own kidney transplant, or perform surgery to repair a cleft palate.
If you are
one of the thousands of people that are self medicating, and taking estrogen
without a prescription, I urge you to seek medical guidance as soon as you
possibly can.
Being Transgender is NOTHING to be ashamed of. It is a legitimate condition
and should be treated as such. Even under the watchful eyes of Doctors and
an Endocrinologist, complications can and do arise, but with proper care can
be overcome in most circumstances.
If you absolutely must do this on your own,
before starting any medication, learn everything you can about possible side
affects, complications and their signs or symptoms. Prepare a plan on what
to do for each situation. Tell someone, even if just a close friend what you
are taking and the danger signs to watch for.
If you are serious about transitioning, TAKE IT
SERIOUSLY!.
Don't think it can't happen to you. Strokes can happen to anyone. Blood
clots that develop in your leg can work their way up to your lungs, heart or
even your brain. Leaving you crippled, Mentally impaired, paralyzed or dead.
Most of us want to be around
a while after transition to live the full lives we missed while in the wrong
gender role.
|
